... ...

踏出 funeral 的心情和腳步都是沈重的 ... 在短短的兩星期內, 參加了兩個的喪禮, 一位老太太及一對年輕的夫婦 ... 雖然和離世的人不太熟諗/ 認識 ... 但仍能感受到那種傷痛. 特別在他們至愛的家人眼中及面上流露出來...

一部份的感受是來至那些我相熟, 我認識的朋友的傷痛 ... 不知何時開始, 我變得 more sensitive ... 我好像開始能感受一些別人正在經歷的感受般 ... 這些讓我和人的距離拉近了 ... 另一部份是直接的 ... 我為他們的靈魂"擔憂" (if that's the right word), 特別是一些未認識神的朋友 ... ... 我會衷心為他們的靈魂禱告, 雖然不知神的決定是什麼, 但我相信祂的決定, 因為祂是公義, 仁慈又有憐憫的神 ..

bad news

Heard some bad news over the weekend, a siter-in-law and a brother-in-law of one of my good friends were killed in a car accident last Friday ... I met them when planning and helping out in my friend's wedding this summer ...

I don't know them well .. but it is still sad to learn about it ... don't even know the words to comfort my friend ...

Though there seem to be a lot of controllable, there are yet more uncontrollable in life. Treasure every moment and every person you encounter in life~~ Live it to its fullness!!

Belated "instant response"

"... as long as God knew where I was, He could cause anybody in the world to know where I was. As long as He knew my need, He could place that need on the heart of anybody He chose." (Blackaby, p.9)

This once was my favourite quote (don't get me wrong, it still is!) attached to all my outgoing emails ... the lines are still highlighted, the page flagged, but the words have slipped out of my mind for long ... for as long as may be 3 years ... How forgetful humans are!!

Although I always praised Lord for His good timing throughout these years, I think my faith is not as strong. Over years I become more skeptical ... I wanted more and more proofs and/or collaboration before I have the faith to say: Yes, Lord! I know it is from you ...

You made me for a purpose ... You put me in certain situations for a purpose ... You put different people around me at different times for a purpose ... Not only for the purpose so that I can serve You through these people, but for the purpose that You can move me into Your agenda through these people and/or situations.

Hm ... a verse came to mine: "Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love." (Rev 2:4) ... But it is not so much about love, but faith. Then it comes my favourite verse: "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." (Pr 4:23)

Yes, we always need to be consciously on guard, and keep reminding ourselves and each other ... cuz we are forgetful, and cuz the world is too "influential" yet it is twisted. Praying that I can be more sensitive and have the spiritual senses to "taste" the things happen around me, and really be able to better understand His agenda for me!!

-- my belated "instant reflection". =)

~~ special thanks to my dear mentor for the great reminder!!

God's agenda

星期六傍晚時份, 教會有異象分享會 ... 原本我不能出席, 因為父母回航的班機預期在相約時間到達 ... 當然有點失望. 怎料, 星期五晚上, 媽媽打電話說班機會延遲起飛, 吩咐我們記緊先check schedule 才到機場. 當星期六check schedule 時, 班機足足延遲了兩個多小時才起飛! 那未我便能出席異象分享會. 真是一個神蹟~~

當日因有幾個appointment / commitment, 又因自己躲懶遲遲不願起牀, 早上便沒有安靜的時間靈修 ... 但在分享會中, 神藉牧者的一句說話給自己很大的提醒及反思 ... 他說: 作一個屬靈領袖, 應作的便是領人入神的計劃 (move people into God's agenda) ... 已記不起我在那裡看過或聽過這句說話 ... 第一次聽到時便十分認同, 可是久而久之便又把它拋諸腦後 ... 每每又把焦點放在自己 -- 自己所想或所應為對的 ... 對某些弟兄姊妹的"期望"已不是measure 他們是否進入神的計劃, 乃是我的標準 ...

盡管我時常提醒自己不要論斷別人 ... 不在未親身經歷或探討事實真相前莽下定斷 ... 自己其實在不知不覺間於某程度上已對某些肢體下定斷 ... 想到神在以賽亞書中declares: "for my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways." (Isaiah 55:8) 感覺羞愧 ...

我願我能更明白神的心意, 走在祂的計劃之中 ... 更願 ... 知道這個會是一個很大的挑戰, 但我真的希望能幫助神放在我身邊的家人, 朋友, 弟兄姊妹等 ... 幫助他們進入神的計劃 ... only and only God's plan!! 共勉之~~

Just a random thought

hm ... is everyone's definition the same? Lately, somehow this pop up in a conversation ...

"is it naive or stupid??"

Hm ... I dunno ... it's hard to draw between the lines sometimes ... but I guess a follow up question would be .. "do you want to be naive or stupid then??"


I'm yet to make my own conclusion, if at all ... how about you??