I praise God for a very different kind of "worship" today -- it is different not because of the environment or music ... but the way He acts unexpectedly.
Was deeply distressed and hurt this morning. Even after a long time of quietness alone in car in the parking lot, I still couldn't calm down. I was a bit frustrated, for I want to worship God, but don't seem I was able to for I was broken.
When I walked into the building finally, a few closer friends saw me and tried to ask what's happening, and my tears rolled down again, failed to utter any words. Thus, I decided to sit at the very back for I think I couldn't worship, so I'll simply "tag along" this event as a "bystander."
Yet unexpectedly, each song touched me deeply and reminded me of God's love. It is God's touch to me that He is there, He is still there. Especially the response song, "The pair of invisible hands." The preacher first gave us a video of a choir's presentation of the song, the choir is from a tribe in Taiwan, and all members are orphans, they were being rejected and left alone for many different reasons. It is really touching and a great witness of our wonderful God. Then praise team led us to sing this song together. Having calmed down through sermon, I thought I'd be able to sing along and give Him the praise He deserves, yet after the first half sentence, I couldn't help but cried again ...
In terms of "doing," I failed to do anything in this worship. Didn't sing, read, or pray audibly at all. I seemed to have excluded myself, yet God gently invited me in by kneeling down, comforting me and bless me! ("Barek" - a root in Hebrew that means bless and kneeling down, how meaningful!)
It is true that worship is people's work to praise and please God, yet God never excludes those unable to come close to Him, instead He enables them~~ My God is amazing, and His grace and love is abundant -- more than enough, yes more than enough!
"The pair of invisible hands" -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHl3YEiJo9k
My translation of the lyrics:
Though can't see You, Though can't touch You
But I know that You are whispering in my ears
Oh Lord Jesus, oh Lord Jesus
I truly know that You are always here with me
It is Your hand, the pierced hands
Comfort my broken, weary heart once again
It is Your sweet voice, Your most tender words
Fill up my thirst and hunger deep down my soul