每逢佳節倍思親 ...
聖誕節快到了, 突然想到了很多久未見面的親戚朋友, 師長 ... 能電聯的 - 或電郵或電話或 facebook 或 MSN 等 - 還好 ... 但有些已失去聯略 ... 自問都算是個念舊的人, 會盡量聯絡一些舊朋友, 因每一份情誼都有值得細饞的地方 ... 但有時就是隨著時間的飛逝, 不知不覺地溜走 ...
昨天晚上, 想到了小學一些同學及教師 ... 便整整在電腦上的 search engine 嘗試尋找個多兩個鐘的時候 (哈哈, 但下星期的考試還未準備好呢!!!), 可惜"革命"最終都告失敗 ... 雖然科技發逹, 但有些東西都是需要人的努力, 不能假借於科技的幫助吧!
朋友, 多謝你看我的網業, 藉著科技維繫我們的點滴的情誼~~ 在這佳節衷心祝你聖誔快樂!! 新年進步!!
不知是否隨著年紀的增長 ... 每逢佳節真的便更加倍思親 ... =)
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Be still, and know that I am God! - Ps46:10
"Be Still, and know that I am God!" has been popping up a lot lately ... I know I need to "Be Still" ... Yet ... it's quite a challenge ... esp when there lays many "tasks" (though I use this term I do enjoy doing them in the process) ... yet still the message keeps coming back ... "be still" ... (so I know I was trying to rationalize ... instead I just need to "be still" and listen)
haha ... no .. this blog is not about being still (at least not what I intended - what a poor introduction .. I know .. but haha .. it's me .. ideas are always truncated, and I'm not a pro. writer!!) .. Well, cuz I'm still listening and learning .. need more time to experience and to digest before sharing .. Yet, I was reading a book lately and something caught my eyes, it was related to the topic of my last blog - forgiveness .. it's a good book yet I wasn't expect to read something about this when I read the book.
Anyway, in the book it says "Forgivenss does not mean that we will cease to hurt. The wounds are deep, and we may hurt for a very long time." "Forgiveness does not mean that we will forget ... we remember, but in forgiving we no longer use the memory against others." "Forgiveness is not pretending that the offense did not really matter ... the offense is real, but when we forgive, the offense no longer controls our behaviour." (Foster, p. 187) "Forgiveness is not acting as if things are just the same as before the offense." (Foster, p. 188)
"What then is forgiveness? It is a miracle of grace whereby the offense no longer separates ... Forgiveness means that the power of love that holds us together is greater than the power of the offense that separates us." (Foster, p.188)
I really like how Foster puts all these ideas in words - so simple yet says much. Admire it a lot as I really lack the skill!! (feeling sorry for all of you who are reading my blog)
Yes, a lot of hurts I never forget .. As a matter of facts, I can still shed a tear or two when I revisit them ... even in matters where I know dearly and truly that I had forgiven ... The hurt and pain can never be forgotten. I used to be bothered by it .. and thus started to hate myself for not "forgiving" more completely ... Although I questioned if I can revisit them causally as if they never happen, never happen on me, wouldn't I, then, doubt whether it is a deep hurt? It's a true dilemma, yet I thought I should be better at that and be able to "forgive" more through the power of Christ ... Thanks to Foster's clarification!! The power of Christ does not help me to forget or magically make the experience less hurtful, instead the power is to help me to hold the other in love, notwithstanding the pain and offenses in us. It is a truly beautiful pictures.
Back to "be still" ... I got an insight today .. depite my body is weak (really think I'm getting sick - feeling cold, headache and limbs are weak ... but trying to hang on as many things coming due that I can't really "allow" [hey, am I the one to control??] myself to be sick) ... my heart is at peace ... so peaceful, just like a 水平如鏡的湖 ("very calm lake") ... the wind might blow fiercely around, but magically the lake is not affected, not a ripple is "formed." Cuz I know He was, and is, and will be my God!!
Bibliography:
Foster, Richard J. Prayer - finding the heart's true home. New York, New York: HarperCollins Publishers, 1992.
haha ... no .. this blog is not about being still (at least not what I intended - what a poor introduction .. I know .. but haha .. it's me .. ideas are always truncated, and I'm not a pro. writer!!) .. Well, cuz I'm still listening and learning .. need more time to experience and to digest before sharing .. Yet, I was reading a book lately and something caught my eyes, it was related to the topic of my last blog - forgiveness .. it's a good book yet I wasn't expect to read something about this when I read the book.
Anyway, in the book it says "Forgivenss does not mean that we will cease to hurt. The wounds are deep, and we may hurt for a very long time." "Forgiveness does not mean that we will forget ... we remember, but in forgiving we no longer use the memory against others." "Forgiveness is not pretending that the offense did not really matter ... the offense is real, but when we forgive, the offense no longer controls our behaviour." (Foster, p. 187) "Forgiveness is not acting as if things are just the same as before the offense." (Foster, p. 188)
"What then is forgiveness? It is a miracle of grace whereby the offense no longer separates ... Forgiveness means that the power of love that holds us together is greater than the power of the offense that separates us." (Foster, p.188)
I really like how Foster puts all these ideas in words - so simple yet says much. Admire it a lot as I really lack the skill!! (feeling sorry for all of you who are reading my blog)
Yes, a lot of hurts I never forget .. As a matter of facts, I can still shed a tear or two when I revisit them ... even in matters where I know dearly and truly that I had forgiven ... The hurt and pain can never be forgotten. I used to be bothered by it .. and thus started to hate myself for not "forgiving" more completely ... Although I questioned if I can revisit them causally as if they never happen, never happen on me, wouldn't I, then, doubt whether it is a deep hurt? It's a true dilemma, yet I thought I should be better at that and be able to "forgive" more through the power of Christ ... Thanks to Foster's clarification!! The power of Christ does not help me to forget or magically make the experience less hurtful, instead the power is to help me to hold the other in love, notwithstanding the pain and offenses in us. It is a truly beautiful pictures.
Back to "be still" ... I got an insight today .. depite my body is weak (really think I'm getting sick - feeling cold, headache and limbs are weak ... but trying to hang on as many things coming due that I can't really "allow" [hey, am I the one to control??] myself to be sick) ... my heart is at peace ... so peaceful, just like a 水平如鏡的湖 ("very calm lake") ... the wind might blow fiercely around, but magically the lake is not affected, not a ripple is "formed." Cuz I know He was, and is, and will be my God!!
Bibliography:
Foster, Richard J. Prayer - finding the heart's true home. New York, New York: HarperCollins Publishers, 1992.
Friday, November 02, 2007
Forgiveness ...
It is one of the main theme in my life lately ... been thinking a lot about it .. and then yesterday I experienced another incident that I pondered on this even more. Due to time constraints ... my spiritual director had to reschedule our meeting lots back and forth. And we finally agreed to meet on yesterday noon-ish about a week ago ... When I was there ... I didn't see her. So I waited for a bit. In 5 min's time, she showed up but didn't seem like she's preparing for a section. I "interrupted" her and chatted. It turned out she forgot our appointment!! She thought I had confused the appointment due to various back and forth coordination. I'm sure I didn't ... as I just checked the "agreed upon" email just last night. But it seemed that she's forgotten and not prepared .. so I didn't say anything and just confirmed with her the next time we are meeting. I was quite angry and annoyed in the beginning .. (haha .. yes, back to our importance ... we all think we are important and special, so am I!! I'm thinking, how could you forget me, your directee's, appointment! Not acceptable!!). After some deep breathing to calm my nerves down, I can see her humanness ... She’s also a human being, there’s probably lots on her plate .. then I decided to forgive! Yes, I remembered and agreed that forgive is a decision we have to make … Really learned that long ago .. yet the more I experience I found that having the decision and be able to fully forgive is different things. I had fully decided to forgive, yet at times I stumbled to fully forgive. Then last night, I got her email apologizing, as she checked her record and realized it's actually she who had screwed up the times. With that, I fully reconciled and at ease in forgiving. It is "funny" how such a small incident is actually so complex within, and so much to deal with.
It reminded me of my own tougher situation / lesson on forgiveness .. I decided to forgive and thought I had forgiven. Yet at times, God just revealed to me more and more (and bit by bit) that I wasn’t there yet, I haven’t fully forgiven yet …. Still have work to do, things to work on .. no matter how determine I was … This reminds me how GREAT God is .. for he truly forgive ... what a hard lesson to learn!!
I wonder how much do I treasure His forgiveness? Probably not enough as I didn’t realize how hard it is to truly forgive. The hurt was made, the hurt is there, and it would “always” be there in a sense that it cannot be reversed, cannot be erased in our memory. Yet with the hurt and memory within .. He decided and fully determined to forgive .. and mind you, we keep failing again and again continually yet He continued to forgive, or even we didn't even realized we did wrong and come to our senses to apologize or ask for forgiveness!! How generous and merciful HE is!!! How beautiful it is. Yes, Rev. Wong was right that at times we say “we forgive” too soon ... yes, too soon before we realize what it actually mean, too soon to really for us to connect our mindset and feeling to the fully forgiving "mode". But, we can surely be able to triumph that by the grace of the Lord.
Sorry Lord, I didn’t learn to treasure You and Your forgiveness more~~ Please forgive me .
It reminded me of my own tougher situation / lesson on forgiveness .. I decided to forgive and thought I had forgiven. Yet at times, God just revealed to me more and more (and bit by bit) that I wasn’t there yet, I haven’t fully forgiven yet …. Still have work to do, things to work on .. no matter how determine I was … This reminds me how GREAT God is .. for he truly forgive ... what a hard lesson to learn!!
I wonder how much do I treasure His forgiveness? Probably not enough as I didn’t realize how hard it is to truly forgive. The hurt was made, the hurt is there, and it would “always” be there in a sense that it cannot be reversed, cannot be erased in our memory. Yet with the hurt and memory within .. He decided and fully determined to forgive .. and mind you, we keep failing again and again continually yet He continued to forgive, or even we didn't even realized we did wrong and come to our senses to apologize or ask for forgiveness!! How generous and merciful HE is!!! How beautiful it is. Yes, Rev. Wong was right that at times we say “we forgive” too soon ... yes, too soon before we realize what it actually mean, too soon to really for us to connect our mindset and feeling to the fully forgiving "mode". But, we can surely be able to triumph that by the grace of the Lord.
Sorry Lord, I didn’t learn to treasure You and Your forgiveness more~~ Please forgive me .
Monday, October 22, 2007
Balance - grace vs act
I was in an annual mission conference helping in one of the mission organization booths this weekend. When sharing one of the stories of a beggar and how the organization has help healed this beggar from an inborn disease which refrain him from standing and walking for twenty / thirty years in a small village in China, and how, through many surgery treatments over the years by this organization, he now is able to walk and is currently serving faithfully in the village spreading the good news to the villagers, a little girl coldly responded “but he’s just a beggar.” What a shock! Isn’t a beggar a human being? Are we all too good now that we are all educated, somewhat useful, “independent” individuals, we do not need to care for others who are less fortunate, who is not related to us? Honestly, it's really painful to hear such a comment from the little girl. I understand what the little girl said may reflect her misunderstanding of teachings from parents or teachers (or may be false teachings), or it may reflect the twisted value of this world she learned from our multimedia. Yet, I think in some sense, it is reflecting a part of you and me that we, too, see ourselves being different, being special, and are at times too good for something or someone else. Yet, that's not the calling of Christians at all.
It is sad that we no longer see the world the way Jesus sees it or feel it in the way he does. We are now in a culture of individualism, of having my own way. And what makes things more complicated is the emphazes on save by grace alone. Though I totally agreed to that theology, I think we sometimes take it to an extreme, or because we try to avoid having others being confused that we decided to give up talking about Jesus' compassion simply for the well being of human being and the world ... Jesus never asked if the sick or the needy accepts that he's the saviour and whether they accept him as personal saviour before saving or healing them. He genuinely care for the people, their lives and their living. It's sad to see how we gave up something so beautiful so as to be theologically correct while, in fact, keeping it has no conflict with the theology.
Yes, everything needs a balance ... when will we find the equilibrium point of the balance? I don't know .. may be never at that desire equilibrium point .. but I still think we should try.
(extract from an assignment and together with reflections after class discussion today)
It is sad that we no longer see the world the way Jesus sees it or feel it in the way he does. We are now in a culture of individualism, of having my own way. And what makes things more complicated is the emphazes on save by grace alone. Though I totally agreed to that theology, I think we sometimes take it to an extreme, or because we try to avoid having others being confused that we decided to give up talking about Jesus' compassion simply for the well being of human being and the world ... Jesus never asked if the sick or the needy accepts that he's the saviour and whether they accept him as personal saviour before saving or healing them. He genuinely care for the people, their lives and their living. It's sad to see how we gave up something so beautiful so as to be theologically correct while, in fact, keeping it has no conflict with the theology.
Yes, everything needs a balance ... when will we find the equilibrium point of the balance? I don't know .. may be never at that desire equilibrium point .. but I still think we should try.
(extract from an assignment and together with reflections after class discussion today)
Monday, October 08, 2007
A song dedicated to YOU! 一首送給你的歌!!
今日在一聚會中聽到這一首歌, 便立時被它優美的旋律所吸引, 但最感動我的還是那十分有意思的歌詞:
<最珍貴的角落> 曲：游智婷 詞：萬美蘭
謝謝你燦爛笑容 照亮我的天空
謝謝你分享心情 把我放在你心中
夜裡有時為寒冷 你我生根同暖土
友情是最亮的星 我的生命從此美麗
當你被花朵包圍盡情歡欣 我帶春風使你舞其中
當你正在坎坷路 我會伴你在左右
一起向藍天歡呼 向白雲招手
我們要一起笑一起哭
千萬人中有個人懂我 你有最珍貴的角落
**************************************
最近，不停地想到神如何在我的生命中賜福與我， 叫我有一班好好的朋友， 去造就，支持我， 叫我成為今日的我 － 希望仍是進步中的我(當然是指好的方面) ...
所以， 當我唱這首歌時， 我不停的為我有你們這一班朋友感恩！ 感謝神在不同的環境中， 不同的時間上讓我認識到你們 ．．． 學校， 工作， 教會， 朋友的朋友 等等． 你們的出現， 問候等， 永遠都是最合時的．
很想藉此機會用這一個短短的 blog entry 向你們說聲多謝！！ 這首歌的歌詞真的代表我的心聲， 所以請留意歌詞～～ 而基督耶穌便是最懂我的一個， 因為祂把你們在最合適的時候放在我的生命中！ 願你也找到及確信這最珍貴的角落～
＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
Today in a conference, I was introduced to this song. I was attracted by the beautiful melody right away, yet the lyrics touch my heart deep as I found them very very meaningful:
Precious Corner
Music: Sandy Yu Lyrics: Marlene Wan
(popo's attempt of translating it to English w/out taking into account the melody)
Thank you for your delightful smile Brighten my sky
Thank you for your deep sharing and put me in your heart
Despite the cold at night, you and I are warm together
Friendship is the brightest star My life thus becomes beautiful
When you are joyful being surrounded by flowers
I will bring spring breeze so that you can dance
When you are going through tough situations
I will walk along with you by your side
Let's shout to the bright blue sky let's wave to the snowy white clouds
We laugh and we cry together
Among the millions, there is one who knows me well
you have your most precious corner
**************************************
I have been giving thanks for all that God has blessed me in my life lately: I have many good good friends, who develop, support me, so that I can be the ME I am today - hopefully still growing (to become better).
I kept praising the Lord for my circles of friends when I was singing the song! Thank God for putting you in my life in various situation and various time ... school, work, churches, through mutual friends etc etc ... Your sincere greetings and your presence are always timely and most needed.
Therefore, I would like to dedicate this little blog entry as my sincere thanks to all of you - for being my good friends!! The lyrics explains my thankfulness well, so I'm not going to further elaborate it (please reread the lyrics again =P ).
Last but never the least, I would like to proclaim that Christ Jesus really knows me well and it is evident through Him putting you in my life in the best timing! It is my prayer that you can find and be affirmed of this, the most precious corner of yours~~
<最珍貴的角落> 曲：游智婷 詞：萬美蘭
謝謝你燦爛笑容 照亮我的天空
謝謝你分享心情 把我放在你心中
夜裡有時為寒冷 你我生根同暖土
友情是最亮的星 我的生命從此美麗
當你被花朵包圍盡情歡欣 我帶春風使你舞其中
當你正在坎坷路 我會伴你在左右
一起向藍天歡呼 向白雲招手
我們要一起笑一起哭
千萬人中有個人懂我 你有最珍貴的角落
**************************************
最近，不停地想到神如何在我的生命中賜福與我， 叫我有一班好好的朋友， 去造就，支持我， 叫我成為今日的我 － 希望仍是進步中的我(當然是指好的方面) ...
所以， 當我唱這首歌時， 我不停的為我有你們這一班朋友感恩！ 感謝神在不同的環境中， 不同的時間上讓我認識到你們 ．．． 學校， 工作， 教會， 朋友的朋友 等等． 你們的出現， 問候等， 永遠都是最合時的．
很想藉此機會用這一個短短的 blog entry 向你們說聲多謝！！ 這首歌的歌詞真的代表我的心聲， 所以請留意歌詞～～ 而基督耶穌便是最懂我的一個， 因為祂把你們在最合適的時候放在我的生命中！ 願你也找到及確信這最珍貴的角落～
＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
Today in a conference, I was introduced to this song. I was attracted by the beautiful melody right away, yet the lyrics touch my heart deep as I found them very very meaningful:
Precious Corner
(popo's attempt of translating it to English w/out taking into account the melody)
Thank you for your delightful smile Brighten my sky
Thank you for your deep sharing and put me in your heart
Despite the cold at night, you and I are warm together
Friendship is the brightest star My life thus becomes beautiful
When you are joyful being surrounded by flowers
I will bring spring breeze so that you can dance
When you are going through tough situations
I will walk along with you by your side
Let's shout to the bright blue sky let's wave to the snowy white clouds
We laugh and we cry together
Among the millions, there is one who knows me well
you have your most precious corner
**************************************
I have been giving thanks for all that God has blessed me in my life lately: I have many good good friends, who develop, support me, so that I can be the ME I am today - hopefully still growing (to become better).
I kept praising the Lord for my circles of friends when I was singing the song! Thank God for putting you in my life in various situation and various time ... school, work, churches, through mutual friends etc etc ... Your sincere greetings and your presence are always timely and most needed.
Therefore, I would like to dedicate this little blog entry as my sincere thanks to all of you - for being my good friends!! The lyrics explains my thankfulness well, so I'm not going to further elaborate it (please reread the lyrics again =P ).
Last but never the least, I would like to proclaim that Christ Jesus really knows me well and it is evident through Him putting you in my life in the best timing! It is my prayer that you can find and be affirmed of this, the most precious corner of yours~~
Monday, July 30, 2007
The Crazy PoPo
Hahah .. can't believe Popo is still as crazy after all these years ... well, here's another proof.
As some of you know that I'm "on drugs" lately due to my stomach problem. Thank God, I'm half way through now .. Yesterday was a great and happy day as it's my dad's bday, so we went out for dinner .. and of cuz there's delicious wine (haha! yes, I quite enjoy drinking nice red wine~~).
Before I take a sip, I was thinking .. "Hm .. I'm on drugs .. am I suppose to refrain from alcoholic drinks." But soon after I'm like .. nah, I'll just taste a bit .. it should be fine. So I took couple sip .. and within a few minutes, I could feel the burning effect in my stomach .. then I realized it wasn't a good idea .. so I gave the rest of my glass to my brother .. and said: "don't think it's a good idea to drink tonight ... you can have more and I can drive!!"
How crazy and silly am I to try pushing my limit!! hahaha
As some of you know that I'm "on drugs" lately due to my stomach problem. Thank God, I'm half way through now .. Yesterday was a great and happy day as it's my dad's bday, so we went out for dinner .. and of cuz there's delicious wine (haha! yes, I quite enjoy drinking nice red wine~~).
Before I take a sip, I was thinking .. "Hm .. I'm on drugs .. am I suppose to refrain from alcoholic drinks." But soon after I'm like .. nah, I'll just taste a bit .. it should be fine. So I took couple sip .. and within a few minutes, I could feel the burning effect in my stomach .. then I realized it wasn't a good idea .. so I gave the rest of my glass to my brother .. and said: "don't think it's a good idea to drink tonight ... you can have more and I can drive!!"
How crazy and silly am I to try pushing my limit!! hahaha
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
身體健康~~
輾轉經過差不多幾個月的時間 [其實又真係唔洗咁耐 ... 係我自己 睇下拖下拖下先再睇下之故], 終於找尋到 stomach discomfort 的原因 ... 係因為一種叫 H. Pylori(XX"羅旋菌)的菌在作怪. 據醫生說有這種菌一定要淸, 因為輕則會胃潰瘍, 胃炎, 但日子久了還未能淸便可能會導致胃出血甚至胃癌. 所以這個一向逃避食藥的人, 便乖乖的聽醫生吩咐去配藥 ...
不過今次都幾"惡" "kan" ... 不單藥較貴, 要一次過食足七日 ... 每日要"kan"八粒"大"藥丸 (excuse me .. it's really a BIG challenge to someone dislike taking medicine!!!). [遲D 影張相過你睇] 不過謝謝神比我有一個好好的心理預備, 皆因兩日後要外遊的我未能開始療程, 足足有兩個星期時間比我作好心理準備及練習 (yes ... I really need it, trust me...)
原來有好多事我都 take it for granted ... 其中一樣便是健康 ... "誰會珍惜當你還擁有?" - 警惕警惕!!
願各方親朋好友都健健康康快快樂樂~~
不過今次都幾"惡" "kan" ... 不單藥較貴, 要一次過食足七日 ... 每日要"kan"八粒"大"藥丸 (excuse me .. it's really a BIG challenge to someone dislike taking medicine!!!). [遲D 影張相過你睇] 不過謝謝神比我有一個好好的心理預備, 皆因兩日後要外遊的我未能開始療程, 足足有兩個星期時間比我作好心理準備及練習 (yes ... I really need it, trust me...)
原來有好多事我都 take it for granted ... 其中一樣便是健康 ... "誰會珍惜當你還擁有?" - 警惕警惕!!
願各方親朋好友都健健康康快快樂樂~~
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Love is ...
[ok .. I'll try to blog more .. but you got to remind me from time to time =P]
Lately, the promotion by Red Cross for blood giving is back .. which reminds me of their slogan "Blood is in you to give" .. which I had once changed to "Love is in me to give, Christ is in me to live" (credit to a friend who complete that last piece for me) ... Yes, this is still a big reminder to myself.
Christians are called to love .. do I really know what love is? I'm not sure, but I'll try and trust that in God's grace I'd know more and more ... Honestly, it is really not that fun a journey; the more I tried the more I am scare and unsure ... But God never fails, he reminds me often.
When I was studying .. I need to read and meditate on 1Co 13: 1-3 over and over again often ... I'm afraid that the more knowledge I gain, the more love I lost .. If my knowledge is only good enough for me to point out what others did not do right or meet God's standard, I'm just being a resounding gong and a clanging cymbal!!! NOOO!!! (Being a visual person, I did picture myself being a resounding gong, it's quite disgusting .. so NO THANKS~~)
Yet .. what is love? I read something today that I really really like ..
"Love is never blind to others' faults. It sees them clearly, but is not threatened. It admits disappointment, but forgives and continues to be warmly involved." (Crabb, Larry. Inside Out. p.200)
I really REALLY *REALLY* agree to what Dr. Crabb said ... to love is not to ignore or pretend others' faults do not exists. I think that is 溺愛 .. "super spoiled" ... not healthy and probably naive, as we are not trying to assist each other to grow to be better ... Love is not to measure how much I will be disadvantaged or how much I might be hurt by the other person, either because he / she is too good or too weak. Love is to be honest to ourselves and to others of the pain we experienced, yet we persistent to be involved ... the persistence to love ... not being threatened to do so or forced to do so by the outter environment or circumstances .. but out from our heart, our willingness.
Jesus lived it out to its fullness~~ Jesus loves us that He is not blind to our faults. He sees through us clearly, but is not threatened. He admits disappointments from our wrongdoings, but forgives and continues to be warmly involved in our lives that he invited us to open our lives to him and promised that he is with us always~~
Lately, the promotion by Red Cross for blood giving is back .. which reminds me of their slogan "Blood is in you to give" .. which I had once changed to "Love is in me to give, Christ is in me to live" (credit to a friend who complete that last piece for me) ... Yes, this is still a big reminder to myself.
Christians are called to love .. do I really know what love is? I'm not sure, but I'll try and trust that in God's grace I'd know more and more ... Honestly, it is really not that fun a journey; the more I tried the more I am scare and unsure ... But God never fails, he reminds me often.
When I was studying .. I need to read and meditate on 1Co 13: 1-3 over and over again often ... I'm afraid that the more knowledge I gain, the more love I lost .. If my knowledge is only good enough for me to point out what others did not do right or meet God's standard, I'm just being a resounding gong and a clanging cymbal!!! NOOO!!! (Being a visual person, I did picture myself being a resounding gong, it's quite disgusting .. so NO THANKS~~)
Yet .. what is love? I read something today that I really really like ..
"Love is never blind to others' faults. It sees them clearly, but is not threatened. It admits disappointment, but forgives and continues to be warmly involved." (Crabb, Larry. Inside Out. p.200)
I really REALLY *REALLY* agree to what Dr. Crabb said ... to love is not to ignore or pretend others' faults do not exists. I think that is 溺愛 .. "super spoiled" ... not healthy and probably naive, as we are not trying to assist each other to grow to be better ... Love is not to measure how much I will be disadvantaged or how much I might be hurt by the other person, either because he / she is too good or too weak. Love is to be honest to ourselves and to others of the pain we experienced, yet we persistent to be involved ... the persistence to love ... not being threatened to do so or forced to do so by the outter environment or circumstances .. but out from our heart, our willingness.
Jesus lived it out to its fullness~~ Jesus loves us that He is not blind to our faults. He sees through us clearly, but is not threatened. He admits disappointments from our wrongdoings, but forgives and continues to be warmly involved in our lives that he invited us to open our lives to him and promised that he is with us always~~
Friday, June 01, 2007
"Thy Will Be Done"
My heart was weary last night ... triggered many many thoughts ... and started worrying ... but then suddenly God reminded me of a song we sang in Good Friday Service - "Thy Will Be Done." Can't help but open the song book and read the lyrics again ... It speaks to my heart, it comforts me ... I know no matter what, He is in control!!!
"Thy Will Be Done" - Lani Smith, Neil Lorenz
When my spirit is heavy ... With a weight I can't bear,
Help me reach for your hand and know it is there.
Thy will be done, O Lord,
Thy will be done.
I will walk through the valley;
If I stumble and fall,
Your light shines to guide me,
O Lord, over all.
Thy will be done, Thy will be done.
I can bear any burden and grow stronger each day,
With you there to guide me and show me the way.
Thy will be done, O Lord, Thy will be done.
O Lord, be my shepherd, I trust in your care;
I can travel my road for I know you're there.
Thy will be done, O Lord,
Thy will be done, O Lord,
Thy will be done.
Thy will be done.
Thank you Lord~~~
When my spirit is heavy ... With a weight I can't bear,
Help me reach for your hand and know it is there.
Thy will be done, O Lord,
Thy will be done.
I will walk through the valley;
If I stumble and fall,
Your light shines to guide me,
O Lord, over all.
Thy will be done, Thy will be done.
I can bear any burden and grow stronger each day,
With you there to guide me and show me the way.
Thy will be done, O Lord, Thy will be done.
O Lord, be my shepherd, I trust in your care;
I can travel my road for I know you're there.
Thy will be done, O Lord,
Thy will be done, O Lord,
Thy will be done.
Thy will be done.
Thank you Lord~~~
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
The insane popo
While I'm waiting for my co-worker .. I'll use this little time to blog a SUPER funny incident of the CraZy PoPo ..
I was pretty tired these days with lots of stuff going on ... Not so much as physical tiredness but stressed and mental tiredness .. so that's actually worse for me.
Having noticed that I was tired, my senior manager said, "why don't we go down to get a tea?" (we were out at a client site, so we do need to go down to the ground floor to get a tea). So we went.
As usual, I got my hot water, the tea bag .. got 2 milk, opened one, poured it into the tea, and threw it to the garbage .. then opened the other one and poured it to the garbage too .. then ... OOPS ... where should this empty package go??!!!! ARRRR .. I ACTUALLY poured it to the garbage!!!! HAHAHAHHAA .. I just couldn't help laughing .. and when I told my co-workers later tonight .. I couldn't stop laughing that my tears went down too ..
That's silly popo losing her mind~~
I was pretty tired these days with lots of stuff going on ... Not so much as physical tiredness but stressed and mental tiredness .. so that's actually worse for me.
Having noticed that I was tired, my senior manager said, "why don't we go down to get a tea?" (we were out at a client site, so we do need to go down to the ground floor to get a tea). So we went.
As usual, I got my hot water, the tea bag .. got 2 milk, opened one, poured it into the tea, and threw it to the garbage .. then opened the other one and poured it to the garbage too .. then ... OOPS ... where should this empty package go??!!!! ARRRR .. I ACTUALLY poured it to the garbage!!!! HAHAHAHHAA .. I just couldn't help laughing .. and when I told my co-workers later tonight .. I couldn't stop laughing that my tears went down too ..
That's silly popo losing her mind~~
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
The missing roti
Staying late in the office trying to catch up on work .. but as usual you can never anticipate the unexpected .. Someone came and have a BIG question .. so we spent couple hours trying to figure it out and finally layout all the questions we need to ask the client. By then it's 8:30pm. Fortunately, I ordered some Indian food through the firm's system, so the food's been there waiting for me for hour and a half ...
When I went down and saw my food, I realized my roti (whole wheat bread) was missing ... not sure if someone took and consumed it accidentally or it was never delivered .. but it's missing .. all is left is my main dish - Indian curry seafood. Being hungry I decided to eat the curry anyway .. It was delicious .. not very spicy .. but after awhile my stomach ached. Not sure if cuz I was overly hungry or if it is the effect of the curry in an empty stomach. *sigh* .. I blamed it all on the missing roti ... but may be it's stupid of me anyway ... knowing that my stomach is not in very good shape lately, I should have think twice before eating curry on an empty stomach.
Stupidity again ... oh well ...
When I went down and saw my food, I realized my roti (whole wheat bread) was missing ... not sure if someone took and consumed it accidentally or it was never delivered .. but it's missing .. all is left is my main dish - Indian curry seafood. Being hungry I decided to eat the curry anyway .. It was delicious .. not very spicy .. but after awhile my stomach ached. Not sure if cuz I was overly hungry or if it is the effect of the curry in an empty stomach. *sigh* .. I blamed it all on the missing roti ... but may be it's stupid of me anyway ... knowing that my stomach is not in very good shape lately, I should have think twice before eating curry on an empty stomach.
Stupidity again ... oh well ...
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
More valuable than birds!!
It's been really busy, yet I cannot stop praising my Lord ... for He never abandon me and continue to lead and guide me everyday.
Last week was extremely tensed and stressed due to issues arised at work. One of my immediate bosses had to ask me to come in and work on a Saturaday. [Knowing that I have other commitments and have volunteering at church, he seldom requests me to come in on weekend. Of course, he felt bad asking, but still need to face the reality.]
Having to work on a Saturaday on top of long hours already put in on weekdays of course is not the nicest thing, but I can handle that .. it's not news. What stressed me was the inability to see how to get things resolve at work, at the same time having to lead praise team and worship on the same Sunday. Although it is one of the rare time when I start thinking about the flow and songs etc early (like a month ago!!), in the middle of the week I'm still not satisfied, feeling lacking of some elements, worrying that the flow doesn't tie w/ the sermon topic. At times, I'm frustrated: frustrated that I am delinquent in identifying the element, frustrated at the numerous coordination for practices, frustrated at the lack of unity, frustrated at lack of time ... frustrated at being yelled at cuz I was late for dinner after practice. Frustration was the theme ... and I felt so alone.
Of course, being me, I tried hard to control myself and not to let the frustration take off and affect my daily life / contacts .. but I know deep down there's this frustration that I need to deal with.
Amazingly, on Friday's bible study the passage chosen by pastor talked to me - Luke 12:13-34. The part that really speaks to me is v.24. Then I keep asking myself, why am I worrying? Is my God not big enough for all these? Why am I worrying when I honestly really did the best I could under the circumstances with "good" intention. God sees cuz I'm more valuable than birds. I felt a bit better and had a great practice that night.
But He knows me well ... concerned enough that I might take on the burden to myself once more that as soon as I walked in my office on Saturday, He reminded me again that I am more valuable than birds .. not to worry. On my desk in the office, I've kept this calendar w/ a bible verse for each day. [I always like to get my dates right before I work (cuz we are in such a deadline driven enviornment) that one of the first things I do when I walk in my office is to turn the page to the correct date .. and the passage for Mar 3 is Mt 6:26 "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"
As soon as I saw that I almost cried .. I was deeply touched. God does not only assure me that I'm not alone, He's there w/ me. He also keeps reminding me I'm more valuable than birds. Thought I had a better grasp of my value after these years .. but He knows way more about me .. hahaha .. Yes, it is a very comfort and touching feeling to know that God speaks to me through scriptures to encourage, comfort or even rebuke.
Result, if u are interested .. No it wasn't done; but I was able to make it home for dinner that day, thus I was happy. Still need to resolve and put this pressing issue to an end hopefully by this week ... Actually this month will be very pressing for time .. 4 jobs on the go concurrently (what's best is a couple have multiple FS to issue!!), assignments due, various meetings / practices. But I'm not overly worried, cuz He's able. Let's keep practicing to rely not ours, but His strength. =)
Tensions are always there .. I'm very thankful and grateful that my Lord always lead and guide me through a step at a time~~
Last week was extremely tensed and stressed due to issues arised at work. One of my immediate bosses had to ask me to come in and work on a Saturaday. [Knowing that I have other commitments and have volunteering at church, he seldom requests me to come in on weekend. Of course, he felt bad asking, but still need to face the reality.]
Having to work on a Saturaday on top of long hours already put in on weekdays of course is not the nicest thing, but I can handle that .. it's not news. What stressed me was the inability to see how to get things resolve at work, at the same time having to lead praise team and worship on the same Sunday. Although it is one of the rare time when I start thinking about the flow and songs etc early (like a month ago!!), in the middle of the week I'm still not satisfied, feeling lacking of some elements, worrying that the flow doesn't tie w/ the sermon topic. At times, I'm frustrated: frustrated that I am delinquent in identifying the element, frustrated at the numerous coordination for practices, frustrated at the lack of unity, frustrated at lack of time ... frustrated at being yelled at cuz I was late for dinner after practice. Frustration was the theme ... and I felt so alone.
Of course, being me, I tried hard to control myself and not to let the frustration take off and affect my daily life / contacts .. but I know deep down there's this frustration that I need to deal with.
Amazingly, on Friday's bible study the passage chosen by pastor talked to me - Luke 12:13-34. The part that really speaks to me is v.24. Then I keep asking myself, why am I worrying? Is my God not big enough for all these? Why am I worrying when I honestly really did the best I could under the circumstances with "good" intention. God sees cuz I'm more valuable than birds. I felt a bit better and had a great practice that night.
But He knows me well ... concerned enough that I might take on the burden to myself once more that as soon as I walked in my office on Saturday, He reminded me again that I am more valuable than birds .. not to worry. On my desk in the office, I've kept this calendar w/ a bible verse for each day. [I always like to get my dates right before I work (cuz we are in such a deadline driven enviornment) that one of the first things I do when I walk in my office is to turn the page to the correct date .. and the passage for Mar 3 is Mt 6:26 "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"
As soon as I saw that I almost cried .. I was deeply touched. God does not only assure me that I'm not alone, He's there w/ me. He also keeps reminding me I'm more valuable than birds. Thought I had a better grasp of my value after these years .. but He knows way more about me .. hahaha .. Yes, it is a very comfort and touching feeling to know that God speaks to me through scriptures to encourage, comfort or even rebuke.
Result, if u are interested .. No it wasn't done; but I was able to make it home for dinner that day, thus I was happy. Still need to resolve and put this pressing issue to an end hopefully by this week ... Actually this month will be very pressing for time .. 4 jobs on the go concurrently (what's best is a couple have multiple FS to issue!!), assignments due, various meetings / practices. But I'm not overly worried, cuz He's able. Let's keep practicing to rely not ours, but His strength. =)
Tensions are always there .. I'm very thankful and grateful that my Lord always lead and guide me through a step at a time~~
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
繁星 stars
星期五晚上在繁忙的都市中看到天上又多又亮的星, 真是有點愕然! 然後我便記起於前一晚睡前的一個禱告/感覺 ... (話說) 因為我愛星, 於房中貼了一些夜光的星星. 那晚躺在床上看著這些"星星", 想到神的祝福便如星般在我生命中, 不斷的閃燃, 又多又亮. 千變萬化, 永遠都數不完, 數不盡. 感恩過後, 我刻意地記著自己這番話, 因不想忘記 ... 星星是神對我祝福的記號 ... 想不到第二天晚上便看到真的星星!! 真的要好好數算神的恩典. 然後星期日的回應詩是 - 數算主恩. 多奧妙~~
On Friday night, I was surprised to see many stars twinkled in the sky. Could clearly see them even in the city!! Then I recalled the prayer / feeling I had the night before ... 'Cuz I like stars, I have some glow-in-the-dark stars stick in my bed room. Starring at them that night, a thought came to mind - God's blessings are like stars in my life, twinkle continuously, abundance in quantity and in quality ... stars are the signs of God's blessings to me .. and how wonderful it is that I was able to see REAL stars shining in the sky the next evening!! Really need to count His blessing. It didn't stop there ... on Sunday, the response song is "count your blessing". How amazing~~
On Friday night, I was surprised to see many stars twinkled in the sky. Could clearly see them even in the city!! Then I recalled the prayer / feeling I had the night before ... 'Cuz I like stars, I have some glow-in-the-dark stars stick in my bed room. Starring at them that night, a thought came to mind - God's blessings are like stars in my life, twinkle continuously, abundance in quantity and in quality ... stars are the signs of God's blessings to me .. and how wonderful it is that I was able to see REAL stars shining in the sky the next evening!! Really need to count His blessing. It didn't stop there ... on Sunday, the response song is "count your blessing". How amazing~~
Monday, January 22, 2007
愛得太遲
愛得太遲 ... 一首已熟能詳的歌, 但從未仔細看過它的歌詞, 今天突然有感而發想看看便 search 一 search. 結果發現它不只是一首如我想一般的情歌, 當中的一些歌詞更叫我思想 ... 自己由其喜歡它上半節的詞:
~我過去 那死黨 早晚共對 各也紮職以後 沒法 暢聚
而終於 相約到 但無言共對 疏淡如水~
真的很寫實, 像是很多現代人的寫照...
感謝神, 我仍有一些老朋友可相約暢聚, 雖然要約一個大家都方便的時間並非易事, 但不至於沒可能. 不過亦有一些朋友真的因時間及距離而疏遠了. 真是可惜!
~日夜做 見爸爸 剛好想呻 卻霎眼 看出他 多了皺紋
而他的蒼老感 是從來未覺 太內疚擔心
最心痛是 愛得太遲 有些心意 不可等某個日子
盲目地發奮 忙忙忙其實自私 夢中也習慣 有壓力要我得志~
家人仍是我掛心及關心的 ... 有時真的很想多抽時間多陪他們 - 陪他們做飯, 四處逛, 看影碟, 看電視劇, 但便永遠都好像有做不完的工作 - 忙忙忙像是必然的事 ... 當有時間停下來時, 又是很倦, 想有自己的時間靜靜 ... 真的左右為難! 雖然久不久仍能抽時間陪伴, 但那tension永在, 從不間斷或減少.
~最可怕是 愛需要及時 只差一秒 心聲都已變歷史
忙極亦放肆 見我愛見的相知
要抱要吻要怎麼也好 偏要推說等下一次~
不知你有否常用"太遲"這詞語, 其實自己不多用, 但我也深信及明白有些事不能有 second chance, 需要把握事機. 但我們總被眼前緊急的事所蒙蔽, 所攪亂, 未能常常好好的把握時機 ... 這首歌詞再一次的提醒我 - 不單要懂得如何愛自己身邊的人, 更要懂得如何愛得及時. 因為時光真的飛逝~~
~我過去 那死黨 早晚共對 各也紮職以後 沒法 暢聚
而終於 相約到 但無言共對 疏淡如水~
真的很寫實, 像是很多現代人的寫照...
感謝神, 我仍有一些老朋友可相約暢聚, 雖然要約一個大家都方便的時間並非易事, 但不至於沒可能. 不過亦有一些朋友真的因時間及距離而疏遠了. 真是可惜!
~日夜做 見爸爸 剛好想呻 卻霎眼 看出他 多了皺紋
而他的蒼老感 是從來未覺 太內疚擔心
最心痛是 愛得太遲 有些心意 不可等某個日子
盲目地發奮 忙忙忙其實自私 夢中也習慣 有壓力要我得志~
家人仍是我掛心及關心的 ... 有時真的很想多抽時間多陪他們 - 陪他們做飯, 四處逛, 看影碟, 看電視劇, 但便永遠都好像有做不完的工作 - 忙忙忙像是必然的事 ... 當有時間停下來時, 又是很倦, 想有自己的時間靜靜 ... 真的左右為難! 雖然久不久仍能抽時間陪伴, 但那tension永在, 從不間斷或減少.
~最可怕是 愛需要及時 只差一秒 心聲都已變歷史
忙極亦放肆 見我愛見的相知
要抱要吻要怎麼也好 偏要推說等下一次~
不知你有否常用"太遲"這詞語, 其實自己不多用, 但我也深信及明白有些事不能有 second chance, 需要把握事機. 但我們總被眼前緊急的事所蒙蔽, 所攪亂, 未能常常好好的把握時機 ... 這首歌詞再一次的提醒我 - 不單要懂得如何愛自己身邊的人, 更要懂得如何愛得及時. 因為時光真的飛逝~~
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