Examen

I am engaged in doing something called Examen lately ... WHY? WHAT? and HOW?

Let me get into the WHAT first ... Examen is basically an exercise which you asked yourself two questions: a) What am I most grateful for today? b) What am I least grateful for today? The idea comes from Dennis Linn's Sleeping with Bread, a book that I'm currently reading. Why would I pick up this book suddenly? It all go back to the nice lectio divina experience I had one Friday morning .. and the book was listed in the Bibliography of the material. (That would probably take another blog entry to explain and describe).

So .. WHY? An easy answer would be I am currently dying for some directions as to where to proceed in my life. There are options: just that none seems really feasible / workable .. or am I just being lack of faith? I want to explore more ... and find and walk on a path that really utilize my best to achieve the most! If you know me long enough, you know I'm a firm believer of God's guidance. But God's guidance doesn't jump out from nowhere ... so I'm hoping to engage in these activities to really reveal His guidance and also make myself more sensitive to His guidance. Examen is a good tool, I believe, as it helps me to reveal what gifts and passions God had and had not given me.

Being a science student (well .. back in high school) and one who likes to think, I do try to find out the root cause of my own behavior .. but w/out Examen, I'd just do it casually, meaning only do it when I feel like it. With Examen and getting myself to commit to the Examen, help me be more discipline. I've just started for approximate a week ... Interesting enough, I haven't found anything astonishing so far, mainly just reconfirming my passion ... but I found it a good way for me to explore myself deeper in a different way ... especially to find out what is the one moment I most grateful / least grateful .. some days I have to think really really hard and debate within myself what is THE most grateful or THE least grateful moment. And it is interesting to see that I'm not an overly positive nor negative person .. as in some day I find it easier to come up with the most grateful, in others the least grateful ... Am I really balance?? No .. not that extreme .. hahaha

I enjoy this exercise .. as it gives me a moment to really review and reflect; to see how God has blessed me every day .. and to see my deepest needs, weaknesses etc ... Sometimes we take everyday for granted .. we think every day is the same, but actually every moment is an experience and every day is a new day. Able to review and reflect on what happened in our lives is important to keep at least myself in sanity.

I don't know if it really would give me a solution on my burning desire to get some direction ... but I really enjoy doing it .. so think I'd continue on ... ^.^